Is Happiness underated??

hello guys
I m sorry its been a minute.. i neglected my blog and i apologise. Its just that other events took over. As i speak i ve taken the week off to ''Clear my head'' and '' reprioritise and refocus'' what happiness means to me

I ve been happy so many times in my life i kind of never knew what it meant to be unhappy until the past recent year. I am one of those people who is constantly a happy child. With a few exceptions of sad occasions namely the loss of my father  and maybe the occasional ' I- didnt- see- that- one- coming- break up'

The Positives..
I have two children, a Son and a daughter. They mean the world to me and i cannot imagine my life without them. I d die before i let anything happen to them. And i Thank God, Allah for them everyday..
They make me happy whenever they smile they show how much they love me .. my 1 yr old son always wants to jump on me whenever i get back from a trip or get home from being absent for a couple of hours. Or my daughter telling her nanny or anyone that cares to listen ''My Mummy says......"
I have a few close friends i know i can count on.. through thick and thin..
Im in my early thirties and i am thankful..

The Negatives..
I have spent the last five years of my life with someone who did not have a clue as to who i am. And also someone who was not interested in knowing who i am. All he wanted to see was who he wanted me to be. Don t get me wrong i don t see anything in your spouse moulding you to be who he wants you to be. That is all well and good, If there are other things present. What are these other things u may ask? Love Friendship Trust and Understanding. Love comes and goes but the other things are the bedrock that keeps y'all together.
I ve always been the non conformist.. Maybe some may say this is the problem that got me to my present day dilemma. But as we Muslims believe,  I am where and exactly where i am destined to be. This was all written.

I look forward to the day that InshaAllah my kids are all grown and they understand that mummy had to be bold (..To  take care of her before she took care of you'') The way i am bringing them up, I am confident they will understand
I look forward to the day I find all the things i am looking for in my future partner, whatever his race religion or creed i know he is out there. Because God did not create us to be alone on this earth. In the meantime, my hands are full and my head is occupied. Gotta focus on work and making it rain! After all , as i say my kids will attend Ivy league colleges!!

Take care of yourselves guys
God sees your heart
Keep me and my kids in your prayers xxx

Yet more EBONY pics

NIA LONG AS DOROTHY DANDRIDGE

More EBONY pics

John Legend as Duke Ellington

EBONY Magazine s 65th anniversary

BLAIR UNDERWOOD AS SIDNEY POITIER

Friends with benefits

Happy Thursday to you all! Today, the topic of discussion is one that many of us can relate to — crossing the boundaries of friendship and giving into curious, sexual temptation. Being that the lapse of judgment, whether it be once, twice or many times, it’s with a “friend,” so you always have that friendship to fall back on should the romance fizzle or if one of you moves on, right? But the reality of the situation is, it’s never the clean break that’s pictured once the romance jumps off. Why? It’s simple, because things get too complicated! Someone catches feelings but because the lines of communication are now fuzzy, honesty is out the window. Since we’ve touched on communication, that gets sketchy also because it’s difficult to decipher if it’s okay to call or text after the boundary has been crossed. Everything gets foggy and blurry to a point where someone gets exhausted and taps out — forever making the friendship awkward, if it can be salvaged at all. Then, there’s the friends with benefits situation where you both get comfortable with each other, your “benefits” package has been going years strong and then you have an assumed, unspoken commitment — but not really! Because if one should move on you can’t get mad because you’re “just friends!” In rare cases, theses situations turn into beautiful fulfilling relationships but is romance or sexual fulfillment worth the risk of losing a friend or worse . . . wasting your time? We asked a few of people and this is what they had to say!

I’ve definitely been there! I was in love with a man and we were really close friends for years. One night we were out drinking and he said he wanted to kiss me and we did, it was great and we left it at that. It got a little weird but we talked about it and he said he wanted to kiss me again and I felt the same way but we resisted for a long time, like, months. He came over one afternoon and threw me up against the wall and we had the best sex I had ever had in my life! And we did this for about two years but I wanted more and he wasn’t interested in committing. So, I was the one who got f*cked in the end, you know? But I can’t be mad at him because I already knew what it was. I’ll never do that again but we’re still cool. We definitely aren’t as close as we were but if I needed him for anything I could call him and he’d be there and vice versa. No lie, if he called me today and said he wanted to give us a chance I would be down. - Maimuna, 31

No! Absolutely not! Men can do it but women cannot. Women hear what they want to hear. If you tell a woman, who’s a friend, “yo, I’m not trying to be in a relationship,” she heard you but she has a different agenda. She’s thinking, ‘that’s what he says but he’s going to want more if I do this, that and the third.” If you start having sex with said woman, I promise she will not be able to maintain a friendly position. She’ll start calling all crazy and talking relationships like ‘but I thought me and you had a connection and you said this and that. I thought I was different.’ Why? I told you what it is and now you’re acting surprised? Why? Like I said, women can’t do it but men can. - Pierce, 29

I think it’s cool if you keep it in perspective and not draw it out for years at a time. If you’re still “friends with benefits” after 10 years, then you’re stupid. You cannot waste that much time with someone and not reap the benefits of a commitment or marriage! I know a few people who have been messing around with a man for years waiting on him to come around and realize “what he’s got,” but why buy the cow if you’re getting the milk in all three flavors? If you have a friend with benefits then it should be that person that’s out of town or something. You see them from time to time, do your thing and you leave. No questions asked, no strings attached. That’s how it should work in my eyes, anything more is just asking for trouble! - tolu, 30

No. It never works. See, friends with benefits are like milk. Do you get it? Seriously, friends with benefits are like milk. Do me a favor and answer this question: would you buy spoiled milk? Why would you do that? Makes no sense, right? Exactly! Friends with benefits have a shelf life. After a certain amount of time, it’s just no good! It’s rotten and something you shouldn’t consume because you’ll get sick — it’s unhealthy, right? It’s common sense! If you can apply that logic to something as simple as a glass or a gallon of milk, then why is it different for something like this? Sh*t gets complicated because . . . we complicate sh*t. So, keep it simple, stupid, and don’t do it! - Moji, 31

Guess who i missed by 5 mins shooting a movie???

Tom Cruise is looking great at 48!

Photographers snapped the actor performing stunts on the set of 'Mission: Impossible 4' without his shirt.

Cruise proudly displayed his six-pack abs and muscled shoulders and arms.

The fourth film in the popular secret agent series is currently shooting in Prague. Among Cruise's co-stars are Maggie Q, who also appeared in the third movie, and Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner.

Tom plays CIA agent Ethan Hunt, and according to PEOPLE, often insists on performing his own stunts for the film's intense action sequences.

We're just glad he has an excuse to take his shirt off for the cameras.










Damn it!!!!

Great write up from Wana. U. guerillabasement.blogspot.com

Obsessed

By Wana Udobang

I had started avoiding conversations with some people. It is that bad that I don’t pick up the phone. Everybody here is simply obsessed with marriage. Until I got drafted to the drive time show at work, then I started to understand the depths of this obsession.

Recently, we had an edition  on our radio show with Chaz B titled “to what extent have you gone to get a man to put a ring on your finger” and believe me we were barraged with all sorts.
From women that buy an interesting kind of white powder from white garment churches and are instructed to smear it between their thighs, to tying up photographs and throwing it into the river. How can I forget the “kobnomi”.

Every seasoned professional in the world of haunting men for marriage at some point or another should have washed their private parts and used the fluids as stock to prepare a meal for consumption. This process is quite pedestrian in the grand scheme of things.

There were stories of breaking eggs, drinking eggs and eating eggs. The most exciting though was a lady that called, saying she had three men after her and she needed to know which of the men would be best suited as a husband. So of course she had been to a church for her first consultation which she paid for but she is still confused and wants to go for the second consultation. When we asked her why didn’t she just pray and wait, her voice became a couple of decibels higher as she informed us that she wasn’t willing to wait till she turned thirty, plus she was under a lot of pressure and we wouldn’t understand.

There was a time when people indulged in voodoo for far complex things, like trying to kill someone, or just cursing a rivals family and unborn offspring. Now it seems for anyone in need, there is a an Alpha, Babalawo, or prophet on speed dial. If you have a friend, she probably has a couple of complementary cards to distribute.
The need to be married has become a cause to declare “a state of emergency”.

It isn’t like I don’t understand the pressure. I have entered the second half of my twenties and I am very aware that in Lagos the ratio is now ten girls to one boy. But no matter what, there still has to be other things in life to embrace, enjoy and be besotted with. On my birthdays, my mother would normally call at midnight praying for me. This time around, she called not praying but stating “Unwana, success is already guaranteed for you. You have to find a man and manage, you can’t leave it too long. It is time”. Of course I listen to my mother’s rant and informed her that I have heard everything has said, knowing that she will be attending the Sacred Heart Of Jesus fellowship on a Wednesday praying fervently that someone will propose to me by December 31st.

Most of my male friends are completely terrified of women. They constantly whine that it seems like you can’t just meet a girl anymore, have a normal conversation and be friends without being accused of giving the wrong impression or being bullied into a relationship. I remember once, a friend and I were having a chin wag as to whether or not we needed to elevate from foundation to mineral powder, or up the ante on our high heels to obtain our pass into the coupling world. Our male friend who was gleefully enjoying his pounded yam and Efo Riro dropped his fork and with furry yelled “you women spend far too much of your lives talking and worrying about relationships, is it the end of the world, don’t you have anything else to do or talk about, na wa oo”. Though we burst out laughing as a result of his spontaneous combustion, he was telling the truth.

At work, I keep whining about the fact that I need a car, so that my okada hopping can come to an end.(in my head I pretend I’m on a Kawasaki Ninja) Rather than pray for me to get one or just damn donate to the car fund, they all start to pray for me to find a husband. It’s the same way we interviewed a lady with sickle cell who was made redundant by the company she worked for. Though she did mention that most of the guys she dated vanished once they found out about her sickle cell status, she got more prophesies about finding her permanent partner than actually getting a new job.

I’m more of an organic person and as clichéd as it sounds not all relationships are supposed to end in marriage. You meet people, if there is a spark and you are both on the same wave length, share similar values, interest and enjoy being around each other then you go for it. If it works out, fantastic. If it doesn’t, hopefully you can learn something from the relationship or perhaps salvage a friendship if necessary. Maybe you get to discover something new about yourself which is always a plus.
Life as an experience and journey has so much to offer if you allow yourself.

But I do accept that “to each his own”, so if white powder, eggs and vaginal juice cooking stock works for you, please do go ahead if you may. It just seems like an awful lot of work for things you have little to no control over.

J Lo s photoshoot avec her bambinos

In celebration of its partnership with UNICEF and their new children's collection, Gucci has pledged  $1 million to UNICEF's ‘Schools for Africa’ initiative which focuses on Mozambique and Malawi.   Gucci/UNICEF is joined in this partnership with J. Lo.  Gucci Creative Director Frida Giannini says, "I am honoured that Jennifer Lopez has agreed to work with me on the campaign for the new Gucci children's collection. I have always been a fan of Jennifer's both as a musical artist and an actress, but now most of all as a devoted mother.”

Jennifer Lopez began her relationship with Gucci by attending the fundraising event Gucci hosted in New York back in 2008, which raised over US$ 2.7 million for UNICEF. She says,

"I was particularly inspired when I first met Frida in 2008 at the fundraising event she hosted in New York to benefit UNICEF. When Frida told me about her trip to Malawi and her excitement about launching her new children's collection, I was inspired by her idea to build upon Gucci’s long term support for UNICEF with a donation in honor of the launch of the collection."  As a mother, I am proud to be a part of this campaign to benefit UNICEF's Schools for Africa program."

Here's another pic from the Gucci campaign with her twins shot back in July: