
It’s recently happened to Cheryl Cole, Elin Nordegren, Toni Poole and Tess Daly, but when love rat footballer Peter Crouch was allegedly caught cheating on beautiful Abbey Clancy with a Spanish prostitute, it was the last straw - our faith in men crumbled to the ground.
It’s not easy to bounce back from a betrayal. The ‘cheated’ might experience depression, anxiety, fear, anger, resentment and loneliness – and often a sense of loss for the life and relationship they had before the affair.
Some couples fare much better than others, with the affair actually improving some relationships while others are completely destroyed. Remember that it doesn’t have to be the end, but nor should you feel pressured into staying together. But take a look at these helpful steps to help you cope with the trauma in the aftermath of an unfaithful partner’s betrayal.
Ways of coping with infidelity
1) Take your time. Think! This is especially important in long-term relationships. Sudden reactions without thought can lead to consequences you might regret. Give yourself some mental space before you take any action.
2) Vent! It’s only natural. Cry, kick, scream, smash some plates. Do what you have to do to vent your problems. Crying is good for you when you have so much bottled up inside, reducing stress and anxiety.
3) Find emotional support. Friends, close family members, or even relationship counsellors should be your comfort blanket. You may have friends or family who have been in a similar position to you, so get as much relationship advice and support as you can. But don’t allow anyone to dictate your decisions for you.
4) Before deciding to end to your marriage or relationship, see if there is anything worth salvaging. Continuing to live under the same roof may feel uncomfortable in the short-term, but in the long-term it can allow for some sort of reconciliation to occur. Remember that there may be life after an affair.
5) Use any time together with your cheating partner to determine why he/she cheated in the first place. To be honest, your partner may have no idea why they have strayed, but there are bound to be underlying problems, which if worked on, can save your relationship.
6) When dealing with the ‘other woman’ or the ’other man’, the best advice is, don't! While you may be curious about them, resist the urge to become obsessed by them. Chances are revenge will be high on your agenda.
7) When confronting your partner, remain calm and always ensure you are mentally and emotionally well-prepared - especially if you want to hear the details of the affair.
8) Whatever you do, do not blame yourself. Unless you said to your spouse or partner, “Cheat, I don’t mind,” then it’s not your fault. It will be painful, you will feel responsible and you will want revenge; but you need a cool head and an even hand to approach the problem. Try not to dwell on the situation, and move on beyond it.